Day 63. You Are What You Eat.

Today 5th period stumbled into the classroom and I decided that no matter how thuggish or malevolent they appeared I could teach them. And so I did. They learned about the second industrial revolution and the rise of urbanism and progressivism and also, most likely the ONLY thing that will stick with them this little known fact: Vaseline was originally used as a supplement. The inventor of Vaseline used to eat a tablespoon of it daily. The class also learned about the mythical creation of SeaWorld in Florida as a place to raise whales for oil and only recently transitioned into an entertainment (and I mean that very loosely) venue. It was a lie, but since education is only optional I suppose, it doesn't matter. I also told the class in between conversations about Robber Barons and Industrialists, the story of how I once cared for eight stranded pilot whales in the Keys, and I also suggested hunting them for sport. Only one of my students said he would unconditionally drive to the Keys in the middle of the night to help me load a whale into my truck, and because of his loyalty he will be rewarded. I also once ate a whale steak in Norway, where it is legal and culturally relevant, and since I only ate one and saved eight, that puts me seven whales in the positive, and so I am still ahead of all of my students that haven't saved any.

Period seven decided that my deadlines are really only suggestions, and then asked me vaguely terrifying questions. However that wasn't as bad as period eight that asked me if I thought babies were cannibalistic, and I realized just how limited our reproductive education has become. So, I guess my answer is "Yes, they are. If you see a baby scream loudly to disorient it, and then run and don't stop until you are in a place with stairs, because babies have trouble with them."

My teaching was sub-par today, especially for Comprehensive Law, where the kids continue to resist book learning and are prone to making up mythical Constitutional Amendments. It was sub-par, because I was having a bad hair day and when that happens I need to just put my hood up and wait until the feeling passes or my hair grows in. Whatever comes first.