Emergency Blog

"I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens." — E. B. White

One of the things I should have learned early in my career is to not engage with the study halls. Or perhaps on an even grander scale, I should never speak with sophomores in any capacity.

Somewhere at the bottom of a river a seed bounces down stream and comes to rest on wet mud. From that seed a tree will eventually raise itself towards the sun and change the very course of that river that first gave it life. I feel that if I am a river and the sophomores seeds, we will soon live in a desert and we will deserve to live there. Nothing is happening in that seed.

Today, while speaking of Chick Fil A and other assorted chicken restaurants I asked a very simple question. "Is it more un-palatable to buy and eat one whole chicken, or to buy it as parts, re-assemble it at home and eat it that way. For example, buy the wings, the legs the breast etc. and put it back together like some Frankenchicken. It was then that the class reminded me that chickens have four wings, not two. If this does not seem like a ridiculous assertion you would feel at home in my remedial study hall. If this does seem like an odd thing to say, it pains me to mention they continued. A large portion of the class believe that chickens have four legs. Don't your parents take you to petting zoos? Do you believe that chickens strut around the barnyard like feathery poodles, or fly around like dragonflies?

Truly I have no words. I don't believe colleges are asking the correct questions on applications. It would be so simple to ask "How many legs on a chicken?" if the answer is anything other than two, it would be an immediate deferment.